you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
