I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
it's great music for shaving your balls
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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