My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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