Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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