taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
