The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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