so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
