I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
