whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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