I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
