How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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