He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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