do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
