The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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