my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
