70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
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u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i out mim tonsoeep
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