I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Pants are for mortals
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
