you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
