you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
And then my night got REAL pukey
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
