Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
