Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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