I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just come out here and I will go home with you...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
