if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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