if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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