The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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