She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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