Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
