what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
