hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
