I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
