Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
thus making me awesome and them whores
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
