I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
