please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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