i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
