We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
