stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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