i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
