This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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