A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
