Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
