i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
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