i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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