Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
