I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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