Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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