Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
