Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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