I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
