Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
