I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
