just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
