Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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