OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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