im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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