I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize