just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
