dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
