Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
