allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
