I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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