I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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