SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize