I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
