names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
